Drunk Snacks That Aren't So Great When You're Sober

I'm drunk as I write this
  1. A Hotdog
    without a bun or condiments
  2. Subway sandwich
    the faster you eat this, the better. It saves you from feeling the shame of how many different types of meat you asked for
  3. Stale pretzels
    Chewy... in a good way
  4. Egg sandwich
    If you're not drunk enough to fuck this up. Lord knows I have
  5. Pizza Quesadilla
    U take some flour quesadillas. Ur roommate's jarred tomato sauce. Another roommate's bag or mozzarella cheese. Another roommate's pepperoni. Put it all together. Microwave. U gotcha yoself a pizza quesadilla
  6. Honey bunches of oats with almonds
  7. Leftovers
    If you're drunk enough, cold wings are ~~~~bae~~~~~