WAYS IN WHICH ALBERT BROOKS HAS INFORMED YOUR OWN LIFE DECISIONS

  1. Not one but two different girls I was dating stopped dating me after we watched Modern Romance together
    Not sure if this is good or bad but it felt pretty weird at the time. I guess it's like people throwing up or passing out during screenings of The Exorcist.
  2. Whenever I have an idea for something to write, I think "how would Albert a Brooks write this?"
    Then I realize he probably already did it in, like, 1978. Then I don't do it. He just saved me a whole day of work!
  3. He makes me feel okay about having lots of body hair
    Because I don't have nearly as much as he does in this photo
  4. Defending Your Life is maybe the best and certainly the wisest comedy ever made
    Every time I watch it, which is at least once a month, it reminds me to be less of a coward and also not to look for show tunes CDs on the floor of the passenger's seat in the car while driving because I might die.
  5. He told me to quit my job
    Once I was drunk and Albert Brooks was at a party and I walked up to him and told him I wanted to quit my job and he said do it. It took me two years to take his advice. He was right, of course.
  6. I have spent ten years working on an impression of Albert Brooks
    But really all I can do is a passable imitation of Kevin Pollack's impression.
  7. He's the only reason I'm on Periscope
    I assume he's the only reason any of us are on Periscope?
  8. Any list I make includes the items "Vietnam" and "this"
  9. Vietnam
  10. This