A Recipe for Loneliness
- •Start with a salty protein🤓
- •Mix in only attached friends
- •Add 6 cups Midwestern Catholic fear of expressing one's true emotionsYou may find this in other regions, but the Midwest variant is particularly hearty.
- •Fold in a recent expensive jacket purchaseA unique ingredient really sets off a dish. Take care to throw out the receipt so a return is impossible, and beating up oneself is made even easier.
- •Chop up an unseasonably warm weekStay indoors until everyone is having fun but you.
- •Trim out possibility of looking outside oneselfYou could volunteer somewhere, pick up a few evening shifts at a coffee shop, write in your flipping blog, but are you serious about this?
- •Bake with decades of precedent
- •Garnish with a social gathering where everyone else seems to know the secret handshakeCruelty-free preferred, otherwise make due.
- •Serves one.