I'm So Old:

Inspired by @TQ and everyone.
  1. I watched We Are the World.
  2. I know what We Are the World is.
    (And that its actual name was Live Aid.)
  3. I knew what the World was like before Thirtysomething
    Your favorite show, and I was in on the ground floor. Please don't treat me differently.
  4. My first music was on tapes
    I'd take it out of the case, hold it up to my ear, and pull on it really fast. Terrible sound. CDs came out and I was like, "about time!"
  5. I lived, breathed, and loved during a time before my previous bullet could be called "a dad joke."
  6. I knew Nicole Kidman when she used her real accent.
  7. I remember when kids solved mysteries for fun.
  8. Until one summer out on the cove when things got real.
  9. I'm Eddie Money
  10. I was born prematurely when my parents saw Young Frankenstein and my mother laughed so hard she went into labor.
    I know, I know. An origin story befitting a comedy legend. Maron made me tell it again when I did WTF.
  11. I'm Richard Bachman
  12. College was a new thing when I went.
    "Four more years?" "More if you want to make any money." "What's the figure for just 4?" [shows me] "That'll work. I'll stay single."
  13. I made purple bodysuits happen.
  14. I was concerned Michael J. Fox wouldn't be able to make the jump to films.
  15. I could only access my first email address from a special terminal.
  16. I watched film strips in Health class that touted pizza as the perfect food, because it contained all the food groups.
    87 of the concepts in this bullet no longer exist.
  17. I voted for Clinton.
  18. I'm Billy Zane.