THE THREE THINGS I WANT MOST IN THIS WORLD

Inspired by "the Title Wave."
  1. 1.
    To be paid to write.
    Lists, scripts, the piece of paper in the Breathe Right box that tells you how to put on a Breathe Right strip. I'm open for business.
  2. 2.
    Someone cute with whom to watch old movies and eat thai food.
    Some cultures call this type of person "a girlfriend." Would have to find low-key sleep apnea wildly attractive.
  3. 3.
    For Hostess to bring back the blueberry pie.
    It's absence has kept me up nights. Or so I thought until I tried Breathe Right strips. "Breathe-Rite: When you need sleep more than nose skin." The rest is behind the paywall, Breathe Right.