5 Stages of Grief as Told by a Cubs Fan

  1. Denial
    We didn't get swept by the Mets. We let them win 4 games in a row and clinch a pennant at Wrigley Field. It's fine. Whatever. Next year!
  2. Anger
    What the FUCK just happened? We came from the hardest division in baseball (NL central) and had the 3rd best record in baseball (97-65). We had to beat the Pirates (2nd best record in baseball) to MAKE the NLDS, and then we took out our biggest rival the Cardinals (best record in baseball) in 4 games. How the fuck did the lowly METS sweep us? Bullshit.
  3. Bargaining
    Please, God, please. We're Cubs fans. We've had to deal with so much loss, so much slashed hope. We'll give ANYTHING to win a World Series. Goats can come in anytime. Bartman is of course welcome to visit! Zambrano can beat up all the Gatorade jugs he wants. Just please give us some postseason success.
  4. Depressiont
    They are usually Completely Useless By September, but right now they are Committing Ugly Blunders Stupidly. What else can we expect? They are the Cubs. This is what we signed up for, but boy, am I depressed. I think I need a drink or 3.
  5. Acceptance
    This team is young and we weren't supposed to be here this year. THIS is why there's always next year! Go Cubs Go!