THINGS I SAID IN THE HOSPITAL AFTER LUNG SURGERY
I got surgery for the first time and it's just as fun and glamorous as I pictured.
- •Can someone hold my blood box while I pee?
- •I can't believe I was on morphine! I feel so edgy!
- •I would prefer it if a lady nurse gave me a sponge bath.
- •This jello tastes like heaven.
- •I will try to pass gas, but I can't make promises.
- •I hope my bod looked hot during surgery.
- •Will I ever be able to do yoga again???
- •How many people asked about me? Did they seem worried? How worried? Oh, good.
- •Vanity Faire is People Magazine with classier font.