THINGS I WOULD RATHER DO THAN TEACH MY MOM HOW TO USE HER IPHONE

  1. Get dropped into a shark tank covered in raw meat.
  2. Wander through the Sahara Desert nude without sunscreen.
  3. Get my eyebrows shaved off.
  4. Eat French onion soup in front of my crush while he silently judges.
  5. Make a sex tape of myself masturbating while crying and accidentally send it to my grandparents.