Things I Learned on My 23rd Birthday

I turned 23 yesterday
  1. When vodka is $7, don't buy it.
    Self explainatory.
  2. Bouncers ACTUALLY scout out pretty girls to cut the lines at the bar.
    I honestly thought this was a myth until me and my girls were first in line and had to witness the bouncer pulling in bimbos. Rude!
  3. What do DJs do besides click play on the song?
    This isn't something I learned, but as I stood next to the DJ booth waiting to request my song while giving him the death glare, I watched him bob his head and watch the music play on his DJ app. Like dude do u have an aux cable so I can do the same thing but with better music? Ok.
  4. Uber drivers always have insightful things to say.
    "do you have advice for us now that we're old" "girl sitcho ass down you ain't old im pushing 60! Forget about texting those boys and focus on y'all selves" Preach, Queen, preach 🙌🏻🙌🏻
  5. 4 people can fit into 1 bathroom
    If a bar only has a 1 person bathroom - first of all how dare they, and second of all, you gotta pack the ladies in there for sheer efficiency. Note: many selfies will be taken in here. May be a 10 minute time commitment. 1 person will likely be on the toilet in one of the selfies.
  6. If there's room on the dance floor, GURL u better use it
    Once a hole opens up in the dance floor, this is your time to take up the most square footage to assert your control. Feel free to leave a 5 foot radius between you and the girls.
  7. Sometimes you just need the DFM.
    Dance floor makeout.
  8. When you drop it low, make sure you can bring it back up.
    Didn't happen last night, but has happened in the past and it is rachet AF.
  9. Friends are fun
    I don't see my friends on a daily basis so any time I spend with them now is precious. Also here's to making new friends - something I'm working on for my "Jordan Year" as I think the youths call it these days.