1. Scream fuck into a pillow
  2. Take a deep, hard breath
  3. Revel in the fact that it's a legit excuse to be late to work
  4. Think about this bullshit: whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger
  5. Practice tire changing skills
  6. Compare price of new tube on bike with price of new tire on car
  7. Compare your heart and lungs to those of a fatty behind the wheel
  8. Eat cake
  9. Remember the satisfaction of getting on that repaired machine and ride like the god damn wind