Things My Uber Drivers Have Said to Me

  1. "You have to ignore emotion. What do you get if you take the E off emotion? MOTION. Letssss gooo!!!!
  2. U smoke?
  3. Oops. Wasn't paying attention.
  4. Will you give me 5 stars? I'll give you 5 stars.
  5. I got a meeting with someone over at TBS by driving them to the airport.
  6. If you puke in here, Uber dings your card for 500 dollars (backstory: had a drunk friend in the car who kept asking for a trash basket to get sick in)
  7. They don't make em like Steve McQueen anymore....
  8. I think I would be good at voiceovers.
  9. Oh, yeah? What would I have seen you in?
  10. POOP EMOJI!!!! (Backstory: he almost sideswiped a car)