THINGS YOU STOP DOING WHEN YOU FINISHED COLLEGE 3+ YEARS AGO

  1. You no longer think of time in terms of semesters
  2. Working out isn't as much of a social activity or to run into your new slam piece as it is a past time
  3. You don't find yourself eating at a table of 15 friends from Chem lab
  4. You talk about the job you hate more than the future career options
  5. You no longer choose bars to drink at based on the people you think will show up or if you can get plastered for 10 bucks
  6. Your Friday nights now consist of watching "Shark Tank" with your parents instead of pre gaming for the first house party of the night
  7. Groups SMS chats dwindle and die off and you only communicate with your friends via tagging them on memes that are so "us"
  8. Dating becomes a chore in order to fulfill things on list to do before you turn 30, not because the barista at Starbucks gave you extra foam in your latte and you asked him out.
  9. Finally, you stop caring so much about what people think of you
  10. You stop saying/doing things just to impress people who do not love you
  11. You stop worrying if eating a fried smore will make you noticeably fatter and therefore less attractive and you eat three of them because who the fuck cares.
  12. You stop searching hopelessly for the dream job and go to grad school and relive college all over again