Things I Think About in Meetings

  1. What if I suddenly farted uncontrollably right now?
  2. If we were stuck on an island what would the island drama entail?
    (Queue Lost theme)
  3. Does this career mean nothing in the grand scheme of things?
  4. Who here is holding in a fart right now?
    I'm obviously fascinated by the inherent intimacy of farts
  5. I want a puppy so bad.
  6. Why does unhealthy food taste good? Shouldn't taste naturally = nutritional value?
  7. What if I actually could have made a career in painting and instead I self-sabotaged a future of studio-in-the-woods serenity?
  8. If I had a pet tiger she would give me rides to work I the morning. And she'd be chillin in this meeting with me right now.