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  1. Number one: this is definitely a teen show
  2. This basketball team is extremely dramatic and also shitty
  3. Yeah Peyton get back in your closet with your poor life choices
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This election has been devastating, shocking, deflating, heartbreaking, upsetting..... and I need some hope. I need some love. So I will send it out.
  1. I am devastated by all of the hurt that I see today. It's blinding. And to so many people, it's terrifying.
  2. So I want to address women and girls; LGBTQ+; Muslims, Latinos, Black Americans, and all persons of color; immigrants; disabled persons and all other minority groups:
  3. You are valued.
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In honor of the first day of fall, let's commemorate the achievements of summer....
  1. The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins
  2. H is for Hawk by Helen Macdonald
  3. Neanderthal Man by Svante Paabo
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  1. Get to a place where I can confidently say this:
  1. Tom Hiddleston
    We meet at an after party for some event neither of us wanted to be at, him because he doesn't want to run into Taylor and me because my heels hurt like a bitch. He almost knocks me over as I lean against a wall, he thinks I am upset but my eyes are watering from aforementioned shoe-related pain. He graciously offers to take them off. Three months later I move out of his apartment, bitter because I'm not who he thinks I am and hating him because he is.
  2. Bo Burnham
    He is right; I don't fucking love him.
  3. Jonny Lee Miller
    Not exactly planned, and not exactly dating. Periods of intense argument and periods of intense passion, punctuated by long spans of utter silence, not seeing or speaking to each other for weeks until he walks into his kitchen to find me cooking dinner, or he calls me in the middle of the day to announce we're going on a trip. We "end" things by just not showing up again, me not cooking and him not calling.
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  1. Friendship is super important in grad school.
    The people in my cohort are some of my best friends. We are hella tight and it makes surviving and staying sane that much easier. For those of you who are competitive little shits, don't sabotage people. It's not like y'all are competing for a finite number of degrees. Also, these people will be your future colleagues. Kind of early to burn bridges, don't you think?
  2. Academia is not for everyone.
    If you love it, you love it. If you don't, it ain't worth it.
  3. I love academia.
    Despite my better judgement.
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  1. Jamelle Bouie
    He'd swoop in and fix some dish I'd fucked up while enumerating the finer points of how lessons from the French Revolution can totally explain this year's presidential campaign.
  2. Dan Savage
    Would feel vaguely like the dad of the group until he casually brought up cock rings in what started as a discussion on the GOP agenda
  3. Aziz Ansari
    Ostensibly our comic relief, he'd actually have smart opinions and funny anecdotes about relationships and connection in the modern age. He and Dan would get on famously.
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  1. 1.
    Shopping w her would be fun
  2. 2.
    She would be super supportive and boost my ego
  3. 3.
    She's comfortable with herself and her body
    maybe too comfortable?
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  1. I am actively contemplating packing gently-worn (read:dirty) clothes for my conference this week
  2. Sounds bad, right? It gets worse:
  3. It's because I want to sit in my apartment and watch Revenge.
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  1. I'm the realest
  2. I guess I have to add this to her list of contributions?????