TOP REASONS TO WATCH THE VAMPIRE DIARIES
Or TVD, for those in the know
- •They use the word "dagger" as a verb. E.g., "it was a mistake to dagger Rebekah."I guess the word "stab" didn't have enough pizzazz.
- •There are no parents anywhere. Like, ever.Bonnie's mom appears briefly as a plot device. Caroline's and Tyler's moms play roles, mostly outside of the whole "parenting" thing and, spoiler, they end up dead. Though to be fair, most people on this show are dead.
- •The perennial brood.Dude has one expression, and this is it.
- •The many times you realize that a simple act could have solved all of their problems years ago.For example, Katherine legit begs for Rose to kill her, so that Klaus doesn't .....kill her. Logic? And if she had died, literally none of the story would have been possible-no vamps, no doppelgängers, no problems.
- •If there's an excuse to throw a party, wear costumes or fancy clothes, you bet they'll take it.Cotillion, Founders Day party, Michaelson ball, homecoming dance, three separate decade dances at school (someone dies every time)...this is just off the top of my head
- •Actual words spoken in earnest: "I found your birthplace and I slaughtered your family, so I guess we're cool."These folks take an eye for an eye, but they're also big on the forgive and forget thing. If I had a nickel for every person who is friends/allies with someone who killed their loved ones.....
- •The Original family, most of whom have been "daggered" (lol) for up to 1000 years (meaning they're in a kind of vampire coma), all speak and write perfect English, albeit with different accents.Oh, and did I mention that they're VIKINGS? Why the fuck do they have British accents?
- •The credits at the beginning that fade in and growLike whoa, that was a misguided stylistic choice
- •The way Klaus heals female vamps by letting them feed on him, but always drains his blood into a cup for malesNo homo
- •Full disclosure: I genuinely love watching TVD. It's often playing in the background while I work. It's fabulous nonsense and brings me great joy.