THINGS MY COWORKERS DON'T KNOW ARE HAPPENING AT MY CUBICLE

  1. I'm listening to an episode of Friends on my phone.
    Thanks, Netflix!
  2. My hands are shaking
    I rarely eat breakfast but I do load up on the employer-provided stumptown coffee!
  3. A webcam of my dog
    Basically the only reason for my existence when I'm here.
  4. Several potential ant colonies
    Walking to one of the 3 dishwashers in this office is too hard.
  5. Nearly constant gchats.
    My best friend lives out of cell service and only has internet access at work from 9-5. I can't be blamed for this!
  6. A general feeling of discontent.
    To be fair, they might know about that one.