Why? Why can't I do these things and it be socially acceptable?
  1. Run away when meeting new people.
  2. Rub up against people and purr.
  3. Be covered in hair.
  4. Sneak Attacks
  5. Not have a job.
  6. Start fights or scare other cats for no apparent reason.
    Suggested by @obie
  7. Jump up on your desk computer and lie on your keyboard.
    Suggested by @kiraandlulu