BREAKING NEWS: ANGUS UPDATE

You may have read my list several weeks ago imploring your assistance in determining if I was the main character in a romantic comedy. The breakout star of that list was Angus, improbably good looking visiting British medical student who wants to do Doctors Without Borders and says hilarious British expressions. Last night, the plot thickened.
  1. When Angus got to Mozambique, the directors of his program were all at a conference, so he couldn't start working. He joined the hospital choir.
    Hospital. Choir.
  2. Oh, and set up a charitable veterinary practice.
    Charitable.
  3. Because it turns out the Angus actually was a fully trained and certified vet before he went to medical school.
    His parents must be so proud, as they cruise toward their summer house in Italy.
  4. Wait, Sally, you're saying, where does all this information come from? Are you making it up? This definitely sounds like you're making it up.
    Oh, but I'm not.
  5. You might be like, Sally, did you crib this off Angus' laughably poorly private Facebook page like a total creeper?
    No, but I did filch this picture from there and you are WELCOME.
  6. It turns out that my coworker who had been on the surgical rotation before I was knew a ton of stuff about Angus, despite spending only 2 days on service with him.
    For the sake of anonymity, let's call her...Blamy. Blamy is not my favorite person. She's kind of braggadocious and self-important. And she always acts like she's going to order out with us when we're on nights but never does, which is a cardinal sin in my book.
  7. Well, Blamy knows all this stuff because she hooked up with him.
    Twice.
  8. On his houseboat.
  9. While cheating on her boyfriend.
  10. While I found this news devastating for obvious reasons, I also love it for 2 reasons:
  11. 1) more Angus info to share with you all!
    Like the fact that he's a vegetarian and he serenaded her with his guitar and he speaks Portuguese and he has a TONGUE RING YOU GUYS.
  12. 2) THIS IS DEFINITELY A ROM-COM
  13. Also, I found out that this is his WhatsApp user picture.
    Soak this all in now, folks, because this is some crazy stalker shit I've gotten into, and this list is gonna disappear come ListApp launch. I'm only sharing this insanity with you, 4-5,000 of my closest friends who will hopefully not be reporting me to the appropriate authorities.