Based on prior experience with my own dubious choices.
  1. Captain Ahab, Moby Dick
    Obsessed with something other than me and away all the time? I'd like to fix you, sir.
  2. Achilles, The Iliad et al
    Frankly, I'd just feel lucky.
  3. Pretty much any male Ernest Hemingway character
    Drunk AND comically unable to process emotions: 👍
  4. Huck Finn (WHEN OF LEGAL AGE CLAUSE), Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
  5. Rhett Butler, Gone With The Wind
    No explanation necessary.
  6. Peter Pan (WHEN OF LEGAL AGE CLAUSE), Peter Pan
    I've already done this.
  7. Dr Henry Jekyll, Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde
    I have also already done this.
  8. Holden Caulfield (ONLY IN HIGH SCHOOL CLAUSE), The Catcher in the Rye
    True story: I definitely had a crush on Holden in 9th grade. I have excellent taste in men, an alternate title to this list.
  9. Mr Darcy, Pride and Prejudice
    A gimme and not always a jerk, but are there girls out there that DONT like to be insulted on first meeting a future mate? Oh there are? Nevermind.
  10. Reverend Dummesdale, The Scarlet Letter
    Spoiler alert (I guess, if you've never read it?): I'm aways in for a man who won't admit to our shame-filled relationship.
  11. Lucifer, Paradise Lost
  12. Bonus Sublist: jerks I would never date
    1. Nick Carraway, The Great Gatsby; possibly literature's biggest tool. 2. Hamlet, Hamlet; ain't nobody got time for that. 3. Inspector Javert, Les Mis; booooring. 4. Humbert Humbert, Lolita, for obvious reasons. 5. Pip Pirrip, Great Expectations; a milquetoast jerk aka the worst. 6. Raskolnikov, Crime and Punishment; wouldn't text back.