COMMERCIAL BREAKS THAT HAVE MADE ME CONCERNED ABOUT MYSELF

I watch a lot of TV at odd hours? That's pretty much the only excuse I have for myself.
  1. When I started mouthing along to life insurance commercials, "you know, for those Final Expenses"
    Alex Trebek says there's no physical exam required!
  2. That time I made a "that's what she said" joke out loud to a Humira commercial ("it works INSIDE my body") and then cackled wildly alone for about 60 seconds straight.
    To be fair, it was pretty funny.
  3. The third break in a row that included a commercial for catheters (ditto: LifeAlert)
    That is the target demographic for this television programming.
  4. Every time an unfathomably precocious child has played (see: care dot com -- biggest offender, Toyota, eharmony) because I start swearing at minors
    UGGGGHH EFF YOU FAKE KID THIS ISNT CUTE YOU HAVE A SPEECH IMPEDIMENT YOU SHOULD SEE SOMEONE ABOUT IT
  5. When I realized I had been studiously watching a 5 minute infomercial on the waterpik
    It's the modern way to floss!
  6. The fact that I can identify that match dot com commercial with the super annoying "best friend" (who would TOTALLY try match if she wasn't already married and omg has TOLD her single friend to do it!) and rapidly change the channel to help control my anger
    There is nobody worse than this friend. Do not be this friend. That being said, I do not know this person and they are not my friend and I prooobably should not have such a visceral reaction to her.
  7. Any time I have been convinced I can see the subliminal messaging in an advertisement
    Because that means I am very very drunk.
  8. Whenever an ancestry dot com commercial is on
    I won't get into why right now, but these commercials (and the whole concept of ancestry dot com) ENRAGE me and I am very aware that this is a completely idiotic vendetta.
  9. All the times those new Whirlpool commercials (and Proctor & Gamble around the Olympics) invariably made me cry
    But particularly when that just sets off a whole emotional break down and I have to go lay in my bed for a while.
  10. When I caught myself clapping about a promo for Harry Potter Weekend on ABC Family
    Sally, these are not acceptable weekend "plans."