EXPIRATION DATES I DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE, BY SITUATION

After writing this, I am alarmed at how gross I am. Also shocked that I do not have 70 kinds of raging infections.
  1. In grooming: makeup, hairstyles
    Still rocking some supplies from high school, and this hairdo has been the same for about 10 years. "If it isn't broken, no need to fix it." - me and also some other people
  2. While gardening: soil
    I had to look up if it even expires. Spoiler alert: it does.
  3. In a relationship: breakups, grudges
    I am a wonderful girlfriend. And ex-girlfriend.
  4. In the shower: loofahs, razors
    Loofahs are replaced when they fall apart. New razor when I remember or have an especially hot date.
  5. While preparing food: any and all grains/pasta/flour, spices, spatulas
    Replace if/when moldy or a fancy new version seduces me at the grocery store.
  6. In conversation: puns I thought of too late
    They're still funny.
  7. In eating food: perishable goods of any kind, particularly eggs, they never go bad
    If it smells right and isn't visibly rotten, it's edible.
  8. While cleaning: apparently all these cleaning supplies have expiration dates?
    Who knew?