I'VE GOT 99 PROBLEMS

I feel #blessed to be on Listapp early enough to be the first one to do this.
  1. 1.
    I can never make the ListApp meet ups and I feel the worst FOMO of all time
    Whatever, @olive and I are gonna have our OWN Baltimore meet up with...just us...and it'll be super cool so neener neener.
  2. 2.
    A bitch
    With all due respect to Mr Z, if we're talking about the 99 Problems I have, a bitch will always be one.
  3. 3.
    Level 617 on Candy Crush
    Ok, it's really embarrassing to admit that number but DAMN this level is hard.
  4. 4.
    When my wifi cuts out
  5. 5.
    The balance between respecting micro aggressions and falling on the sword of political correctness
    It's a fluid line.
  6. 6.
    My weight
    #realtalk
  7. 7.
    That dream-destroyer Laura Hoffman who sold us bad tickets to Taylor Swift
  8. 8.
    Casual sexism in old Disney movies
    "Leave the sewing to us women." - Cinderella WOOF
  9. 9.
    Being told my "confidence" can be intimidating in performance reviews
    sorry I'm not sorry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  10. 10.
    How stressful "White House Down" was to me
  11. 11.
    The homeless man who occasionally lives under my window and stares inside
  12. 12.
    Other people's engagement photos
    Just patiently waiting for someone to request a list on this so I can go hog wild.
  13. 13.
    Not celebrating Jewish holidays anymore
    And not really being sure how I feel about it.
  14. 14.
    The mouse I think is in my kitchen
  15. 15.
    Scheduling all my doctors appointments when I'm on nights
    Just because you're not working during the day, Sally, doesn't mean you don't need to sleep.
  16. 16.
    The fact that I remember not only every word to the Backstreet Boys' first album, but also the order of the track list
  17. 17.
    Applying to fellowship
  18. 18.
    Women's reproductive rights
    Because like, COME ON.
  19. 19.
    How badly I want to see my nephew
  20. 20.
    Constantly being worried that my best friends secretly hate me and/or are mad at me
    You know who you are.
  21. 21.
    How to not seriously fan girl out when someone I admire interacts with me on the ListApp
    Hopefully, you DON'T know who you are.
  22. 22.
    Health insurance reform
  23. 23.
    Wedding gifts
    They're so expensive and I resent buying them 100% of the time.
  24. 24.
    Looking at my phone all the time
  25. 25.
    My shellfish allergy
  26. 26.
    Those chocolate covered pretzel thins from Costco
    Imanna eat all of them.
  27. 27.
    Law and Order: SVU
    I watch WAY too much, I care WAY too much.
  28. 28.
    Anxiety
  29. 29.
    That my ex-boyfriend is going to move to SF, which is MY plan, so it's going to look like I followed him
  30. 30.
    That I still talk to my ex-boyfriend regularly
  31. 31.
    Parents who refuse vaccines
    GRRRRRR
  32. 32.
    Pain in the arm I broke
    😞
  33. 33.
    Not knowing who to vote for
  34. 34.
    Thinking too much about who likes what on social media
  35. 35.
    That I've been intermittently "talking" to the same boy for 3 years and have refused to define the relationship
    😎
  36. 36.
    Hallmark Movies
    Both how bad they are and how much I love them.
  37. 37.
    Asthma
    Sorry, cats of the world (especially Button and Mack), we will never be friends.
  38. 38.
    When TLA goes public I think I probably should delete a few lists
    And we're gonna lose all my creeper shots of Angus
  39. 39.
    Sleep
    I'm just crummy at it.
  40. 40.
    Subway cookies
    Pffft moderation.
  41. 41.
    This bridesmaid dress that is totally not going to fit me
  42. 42.
    Balancing my career with my personal life
  43. 43.
    Forgetting all the books I read in college
    There were so many of them and now they're just gone.
  44. 44.
    I need a haircut
  45. 45.
    Time zones
    That's @sam and my friendship logo.
  46. 46.
    That I can't just follow social media
    I have to be completely up to date on every aspect every time I open the app -- it's why I don't follow more people.
  47. 47.
    That I'm only about halfway through this list
    Yowza, 99 problems is a lot.
  48. 48.
    Perpetual singledom
  49. 49.
    Too many drafts
    Over 50!
  50. 50.
    That you can use an emoji to order Dominos
    Yikes.
  51. 51.
    My good friend's boyfriend who posts horrifically conservative and tone deaf things on Facebook about how sexism isn't real and disparaging then#blacklivesmatter movement
    I need to unfollow him.
  52. 52.
    No laptop
    Mine crashed 2 years ago and I never replaced it and it never seems like the right time to drop $1000.
  53. 53.
    This nurse that snapped in my face last week
    I don't usually have issues with nurses but this one is testing my limits in a big way.
  54. 54.
    How grossed out I get by bandaids
  55. 55.
    All of the news
    It's full of awful depressing things and I lack the power, time, money, and motivation to fix it.
  56. 56.
    OkCupid
  57. 57.
    The sun is setting earlier so sometimes I won't see any daylight
  58. 58.
    The stack of magazines in my bathroom
    I'll get to it, I say. I'll read them, I say. And still it grows.
  59. 59.
    Car insurance
    So expensive!
  60. 60.
    I'm WAY too into hearing gossip and know it makes me a kind of bad person
  61. 61.
    My roving enlarged lymph nodes
    It's been going on for a few months now, and it's probably something I should get checked out but uuugghhhhhh.
  62. 62.
    Black shirts on hot boys
    #thirst
  63. 63.
    ABC Family
    I'm way too into like 90% of what's on at any given moment.
  64. 64.
    Fear of rejection
    Getting a little more heavy here.
  65. 65.
    Harmless Coconut Water that costs $8
    Come the fuck on.
  66. 66.
    Being out of shape
  67. 67.
    It was just my birthday
    So now it's like a million months to my next one.
  68. 68.
    Burn out
    Makes me less compassionate and a crappy doctor and friend.
  69. 69.
    I can't get a dog
    I'm not home enough and I know it wouldn't be fair to the dog and my lifestyle won't allow it but 😭😭😭😭😭
  70. 70.
    Internalized prejudices
    I know I have them and I wish I didn't.
  71. 71.
    Sleep deprivation, chronic
  72. 72.
    Almost out of wine
    Need a Trader Joes trip stat.
  73. 73.
    Hoda and KLG inexplicably doesn't play in Baltimore markets
  74. 74.
    Multi-drug resistant microbes
    These are more like "bane of my existence" than a problem, but they can go here.
  75. 75.
    Fear of identity theft
  76. 76.
    Diet Coke
    I've had at least 5 today already and I'm heading into a night shift. It's just...a problem.
  77. 77.
    When Netflix asks me if I still want to keep watching
    Mind ya business, Netflix.
  78. 78.
    How much I love women-hating songs
    And want to sing aloooongggg.
  79. 79.
    Taxes
    What are they? How do they work? Why do I do them? Help.
  80. 80.
    These scrubs
    Ya'll, they SMELL. I need a new pair.
  81. 81.
    You
    I mean, not really, but at this point I'm just thinking about how I might answer if someone asked me, "What's YOUR problem?"
  82. 82.
    Being on night shift again
    😔
  83. 83.
    Meditating, my failure at
    I've been trying really hard to do it regularly and I'm just having so much trouble, which is entirely contrary to the point.
  84. 84.
    The word "guarantee"
    I can never spell it right. Before this was autocorrected, it said "gaurantee."
  85. 85.
    My nervous tic of tapping on my collar bone
  86. 86.
    Drivers who turn or switch lanes without using their blinker
    Oh IM SORRY, does that model not come equipped with a turn signal?
  87. 87.
    Amazon Prime Now
    It's just extremely dangerous. Diet Coke, mac and cheese, frozen EVOL bowls, and Nutella within an hour? Okaaaay.
  88. 88.
    Moderation, lack thereof
    See: above
  89. 89.
    Gastritis
    Tums help, but man this is uncomfortable. Damn you, ibuprofen!
  90. 90.
    HIPAA laws
    I am all for protecting patient privacy but sometimes they're just a little too stringent. (Almost) Everyone else gets to complain about their work without fearing they're breaking federal law.
  91. 91.
    People who act like they are the only ones allowed to be tired or stressed
  92. 92.
    When I try to ask someone to stop patronizing me
    But I accidentally use the pronunciation that means they are shopping in my store.
  93. 93.
    No ListApp list links
    I've got a great list idea in drafts that is essentially pointless if I can't link to the lists.
  94. 94.
    Video recorded conferences
    Because I have been accidentally recorded talking shit on people far too many times before and after these conferences. Look out for little mics from the ceiling. That's the lesson here.
  95. 95.
    ATVs
    Just non-stop injuring of children. Cut it out, ATVs.
  96. 96.
    I have 4 black flip flops by my door and I keep mixing up which right goes with which left and then they're paired up wrong and it feels weird
  97. 97.
    That Maryland grocery stores don't sell liquor
    At all. Not even wine or beer (lookin at you, TJs). It's the worst.
  98. 98.
    I don't drink enough water
  99. 99.
    My devotion to this list concept
    I mean, it's impressive, but it's also a problem.