IF I WAS AN NFL PLAYER

  1. I would totally be one of the people who smiles when I did that talking head thing before the game starts where I say my name and what school I went to.
    ALWAYS root for the smilers.
  2. I would for sure get a bicep tattoo.
    Maybe on both arms.
  3. I would absolutely flex when they show the starting lineup on Thursday night football.
    I'd also nod my head while smirking, like, yaaaah you know what's up.
  4. I would definitely not slap my teammates on the helmet to indicate job well done.
    They've got enough head injury exposure as it is.
  5. I would put that eye black gunk on for every game.
    Gotta look hard to play hard.
  6. I would make crazy expressions while I talk on the sidelines so I could make it onto NFL Bad Lip Reading.
  7. I would give an incredible rousing pep talk at the start of every game.
    It would involve a lot of flapping arm motions and bobbing, if what I see on TV is a good standard.
  8. I would hand the ball to the ref, not throw it.
    It's about respect.
  9. I would not wear my visor.
    I want the opposing team to see that maniacal twinkle in my eye.
  10. I would never give post-game interviews.
    Keep em guessing.
  11. I would play some football I guess?