MOST RIDICULOUS NON-FOOD ITEMS INGESTED BY MY PATIENTS

Kids eat everything. Limited this to orally ingested items because yeesh ya'll don't even wanna know. Open list for contributions from other patient caregivers (@AlexandraLouise @TT @ouizoid) and parents, who probably don't tell me the half of it.
  1. An entire wash cloth
    I'm not even sure how they did this.
  2. Christmas ornaments
    To be fair, I did not personally see these patients, but did an entire presentation on the hazards of Christmas decorations, one of which is that children eat them. Those X-Rays are phenomenal.
  3. Batteries
    Shockingly dangerous and crazy common. Kids effing LOVE to eat batteries and I can't tell you why.
  4. A tube sock
    Somewhat confused about the mechanism of this ingestion as well.
  5. Magnets
    Also impressively dangerous, especially if more than one is swallowed (think about it).
  6. Coin(s)
    Actually the most commonly ingested item by children. Handfuls of coins, quarters from disappearing magic tricks (one of my favorite patient explanations ever), pennies, mysterious missing money from mom's purse, etcetera.
  7. Beads
    Always the damn beads.
  8. Hair relaxant
    For unknown reasons, kids drink this all the damn time. I really wish they would stop doing that, it's real bad for them.
  9. Beanie baby stuffing
    This looked very funny in the poop.
  10. Dog poop
    I am sure there have been other types of poop ingestion but this is the only one I've heard about.
  11. Razor blades
    Scary.
  12. Hair elastics
    Especially those little brightly colored plastic ones for braids. Hilarious to see in diapers.
  13. Erasers
    A classic kid favorite.
  14. Thumb tack
    Bad idea.
  15. Hair
    I wouldn't even bring this up but for the fact that eating a ton of hair leads to a bezoar, a gigantic mass made of accumulated ingested matter (also a very fun word to say). I won't link a picture here for the unsuspecting list reader, but google it because that shit is bananas.
  16. Her own placenta
    Sorry, but *gag*!
    Suggested by   @TT