NON-DOCTOR THINGS I DONT BELIEVE IN

  1. Wishing people happy birthday on Facebook
    Recently took my own off my profile so I wouldn't have to feel any guilt about this.
  2. Scented versions of products that are going to smell bad by nature of their intended use
    See: garbage bags, tampons
  3. Engagement photos
    This is its own very, very long list.
  4. Karaoke
    (Hiding from the pitchforks and torches) Listen, I will go with you, but I am sure as shit not going to sing and I am not going to pretend it's some super fun treat.
  5. Washing my car
    It's probably gonna rain soon.
  6. Shoes that are not flip-flops
    By necessity of modern societal constraints and weather, I have to violate this one fairly frequently.
  7. Tissues
    This is mostly to annoy my mom. But still, toilet paper works just as well.