OVERHEARD WHILE DONNIE HOT GLUE-GUNNED HIS SON'S COSTUME

Early on, Monkey was known as Cutlet (get it? The Cutlers having a baby?) and thus, his first Halloween costume will obvi be a chicken. When we were kids, our parents made all our Halloween costumes. As such, @donnie insisted that he and @abbyzeecee create this by hand. 2 nights ago, I watched them cut feathers. Today, I supervised hot gluing.
  1. "I feel like I'm on Project Runway and this is the unconventional challenge."
    "I'm totally gonna get shit for using fabric, but whatever, this is my aesthetic."
  2. "I'm totally gonna get props for making this, right?"
    "I didn't think it was gonna look this good! I thought it'd be kinda like, well, you tried..." [church lady smile] (pictured: Monkey reclining on some toys to play with more toys)
  3. "I should have been live-tweeting or live-listing or live-pinteresting this, right?"
    "Oh well."
  4. "It's like crafty and shit...we went to Michaels!"
    (Pictured: @donnie making chicken head movements)
  5. "The problem is...he has arms."
    (Pictured: said arms in motion)
  6. "Can you get me a beer to help me regain my masculinity?"
  7. "I think I've crafted myself into a corner here."
    We proceeded to laugh so hard here we were both crying.
  8. "I get why they want craft rooms now..."
    "...on House Hunters."
  9. "Should we be farmers or cooks? I guess..."
    "I planted the seed..." (I chimed in here: "and Abby done cooked him!")
  10. In Heidi Klum voice: "It doesn't look very well-made...it looks like you just hot-glue gunned it on!"
    Followed by: "That wasn't a very good Heidi impression."
  11. A variety of insults about less perfectly cut feathers
    "Exacto knife? More like sorta knife!" "Did you fail kindergarten?" "What is this, a spooky tombstone? WoOoOoO!!" (Last one inspired more tear-laughter)
  12. "I like Edward Sharpe and the Scissorhands..."
    Also, excited pointing toward the speaker when Freebird came on the playlist.
  13. "Fuck you, safety!"
    Said while sticking scissors into the back of the glue gun to get the last of the stick out.
  14. "I need a baby sized dress form."
    (Pictured: ideal dress form)
  15. "Well...we can't let Rachel Rappaport be the best."
    Indignant look. [DONNIE IS INSISTENT THAT I EDIT THIS: Ruthie is the toddler involved, but NOT a rival. The competition is with Rachel, her extremely crafty mother who has made incredible costumes for several years running. Donnie states he has nothing but love for Ruthie, she is very cute.]
  16. Final product