PEOPLE CURRENTLY IN THE TOP 20 OF POP WHO MIGHT WANT TO SEE A DOCTOR, BASED ON LYRICS
Ranked in order of urgency.
- •Ellie Goulding: "I'm not thinking straight/My head spinning around I can't see clear no more." - Love Me Like You DoShe's either about to faint or have a stroke, so I'd consider this one pretty concerning.
- •Bruno Mars: "I'm too hot (hot damn)/Called a police and a fireman." - Uptown FunkIn all fairness to him, it seems like he's at least on the way there.
- •Flo Rida: "It's going down further than femurs." - GDFRFlo, this doesn't even make sense but it sounds pretty dangerous.
- •Walk the Moon: "We were victims of the night,/The chemical, physical, kryptonite." - Shut Up And DanceWhere did you even FIND kryptonite?!? Get that shit checked out stat.
- •Calvin Harris: "How are we still breathing?" - OutsideInteresting question.
- •Selena Gomez and Zedd: "You and me bleed the same light." - I Want You To KnowThat is a communicable disease.
- •Kanye West: "Hold me back I'm about to spaz." - FourFiveSecondsNormally, this wouldn't be too worrisome, but hasn't Kanye had seizures in the past? Might be time for a neuro appointment, just saying. Also, don't hold someone having a seizure; that's dangerous.
- •Anyone taking Pitbull and Ne-Yo's advice: "So you might as well you roll it up/Pour it up, drink it up, throw it up tonight." - Time Of Our Lives[deep sigh]
- •Tove Lo: "Bodies! Our baby making bodies we just use for fun." - Talking BodyIt might be wise to talk about protection, that's all.
- •Nick Jonas' lady friend who is chaining him up: "Cold to the touch but she's warm as a devil." - ChainsSounds like a pretty high fever.
- •Jason Derulo: "It's so hard to sleep/I got the sheets on the floor/Listen to me/And I can't take it no more." - Want To Want MeNo problem, we've got meds for that now!
- •Ed Sheeran's girlfriend: "When your legs don't work like they used to before." - Thinking Out LoudThis is just weird, maybe she should see a specialist?
- •Adam Levine: "I'm something weak." "I'm hurt, baby, I'm broken down." - SugarYou could be a little more specific, but you don't have to feel this way, buddy.
- •Taylor Swift: "Long drive, could end in burning flames." - StyleThis is fine for now, but a potentially bad situation. Just make sure you know where the nearest hospital is.