PEOPLE CURRENTLY IN THE TOP 20 OF POP WHO MIGHT WANT TO SEE A DOCTOR, BASED ON LYRICS

Ranked in order of urgency.
  1. Ellie Goulding: "I'm not thinking straight/My head spinning around I can't see clear no more." - Love Me Like You Do
    She's either about to faint or have a stroke, so I'd consider this one pretty concerning.
  2. Bruno Mars: "I'm too hot (hot damn)/Called a police and a fireman." - Uptown Funk
    In all fairness to him, it seems like he's at least on the way there.
  3. Flo Rida: "It's going down further than femurs." - GDFR
    Flo, this doesn't even make sense but it sounds pretty dangerous.
  4. Walk the Moon: "We were victims of the night,/The chemical, physical, kryptonite." - Shut Up And Dance
    Where did you even FIND kryptonite?!? Get that shit checked out stat.
  5. Calvin Harris: "How are we still breathing?" - Outside
    Interesting question.
  6. Selena Gomez and Zedd: "You and me bleed the same light." - I Want You To Know
    That is a communicable disease.
  7. Kanye West: "Hold me back I'm about to spaz." - FourFiveSeconds
    Normally, this wouldn't be too worrisome, but hasn't Kanye had seizures in the past? Might be time for a neuro appointment, just saying. Also, don't hold someone having a seizure; that's dangerous.
  8. Anyone taking Pitbull and Ne-Yo's advice: "So you might as well you roll it up/Pour it up, drink it up, throw it up tonight." - Time Of Our Lives
    [deep sigh]
  9. Tove Lo: "Bodies! Our baby making bodies we just use for fun." - Talking Body
    It might be wise to talk about protection, that's all.
  10. Nick Jonas' lady friend who is chaining him up: "Cold to the touch but she's warm as a devil." - Chains
    Sounds like a pretty high fever.
  11. Jason Derulo: "It's so hard to sleep/I got the sheets on the floor/Listen to me/And I can't take it no more." - Want To Want Me
    No problem, we've got meds for that now!
  12. Ed Sheeran's girlfriend: "When your legs don't work like they used to before." - Thinking Out Loud
    This is just weird, maybe she should see a specialist?
  13. Adam Levine: "I'm something weak." "I'm hurt, baby, I'm broken down." - Sugar
    You could be a little more specific, but you don't have to feel this way, buddy.
  14. Taylor Swift: "Long drive, could end in burning flames." - Style
    This is fine for now, but a potentially bad situation. Just make sure you know where the nearest hospital is.