1. Important but exhausted businesswoman
    When traveling via plane, drinking at bar, looking despondently at persistently buzzing phone (it is usually @sam or my mom but nobody else gotta know that).
  2. Mom of three young kids on **~HoLiDaY~**
    When drunk and interacting with other parents. "He's about two and a half years, ya? Ugh, such a fun age."
  3. Eccentric rich old lady
    When home in billowy pj pants and oversized dolman shirt (outfit is essential here), watering plants.
  4. Dog walker
    When walking my friends dog. Technically not inaccurate.
  5. Former Broadway singer who now lives a conventional life
    When driving and that song (you know, THAT song) comes on at a stoplight and someone catches me singing and I give them a wistful smile.
  6. Very cool girl who is super into football
    When eating dinner alone at a pub and watching the games (to be fair, I know enough to sell this one).
  7. Non-tourist going about my daily business
    When in a new city or country, walking with purpose, speaking as little as possible to keep up the charade.
  8. Waiter on my day off
    When someone is being a jerk at a restaurant and I catch the waiter's attention, roll my eyes knowingly, then overtip.