STORIES I COULD TELL ON JEOPARDY AFTER THE COMMERCIAL BREAK

  1. The French police once pulled over a car in which I was riding in the trunk.
    This night actually started with many baby bottles filled with wine. Contrary to how this sounds, I was not a kidnapping victim.
  2. I have been to the Academy Awards.
    I wore borrowed diamonds and accidentally crashed the nominees area at the Governors Ball.
  3. My brother and I hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon and back up to the top in one day, without any planning or training.
    This was a bad idea.
  4. I went sky diving on a whim after an ex-boyfriend teased me that I'd be too scared.
    I went alone the next day because he was too freaked out to get out of bed.
  5. In third grade, when we were supposed to write "I feel..." statements to a pretend bully in an assignment, I wrote "I feel you should back the fuck off."
    It's possible this one isn't appropriate for air.
  6. I was a gigantic newborn baby.
    I weighed 10lbs 8.5oz at birth and came out the natural way. My mom likes to remind me of this at key moments.
  7. I thought Thanksgiving was a place until about age 7.
    We were always going to Thanksgiving! So sue me.