As this list has come together, it became clear that I have to do this a LOT. Limited myself to 15, because that makes me seem more quirky, less crazy? Right?
  1. Traveling through an underwater tunnel
    Note: I do not close my eyes if driving but rely instead on forceful exhalation through my teeth.
  2. It suddenly occurs to me that before I left my house maybe I neglected to turn off the stove
    Or the oven or is the space heater still on or maybe I didn't turn on the alarm or can I even remember if I locked the door or is it possible I don't have my keys...
  3. Port-a-potty use
    Utilize the through-teeth-breathing-eyes-open tunnel method here too.
  4. Sexy scenarios with people I do NOT want to think about that way
    You guys, these are called intrusive thoughts and in med school I learned not everyone has them!
  5. My parents could die at any time
    Anyone could, obviously, but it's my parents.
  6. What if there is poop or semen on that door handle
    Could be. How do I know.
  7. The intrusive thought of someone I was once intimate with touching someone else's face tenderly
    Honestly, if I could get rid of any one of these, it'd be this one.
  8. Laying in bed and knowing there are bugs possibly in my home just waiting to crawl into my mouth while I sleep
    But this is a close second.
  9. Eating something that could theoretically have shellfish in it, even though I've asked if it does and been told no
    Honestly, my allergy isn't that bad. Deep breathing, you crazy person. Count to 10.
  10. My brain feels the need to remind me that I was drunk and maybe I don't remember everything that happened
    Any night I was drunk, really.
  11. People have gone out without me, what are they saying, is it about me, is it bad
  12. A commercial for The Purge comes on
  13. Any memory of inopportune farting
    I never want to remember these situations.
  14. The person driving me is driving crazy and is surely going to get in an accident
    This one logically got much worse after I was in an awful car accident and cried through yellow lights for a while. #stable
  15. I am bothered by something on social media I suspect is directed toward me, intended to offend me, or is in any way serious
    Sally, this is not what life is about. Close your eyes, count to 10, and do. not. think. about. it.