TIMES WHEN I HAVE TO CLOSE MY EYES AND COUNT TO TEN AND ACTIVELY NOT THINK ABOUT IT
As this list has come together, it became clear that I have to do this a LOT. Limited myself to 15, because that makes me seem more quirky, less crazy? Right?
- 1.Traveling through an underwater tunnelNote: I do not close my eyes if driving but rely instead on forceful exhalation through my teeth.
- 2.It suddenly occurs to me that before I left my house maybe I neglected to turn off the stoveOr the oven or is the space heater still on or maybe I didn't turn on the alarm or can I even remember if I locked the door or is it possible I don't have my keys...
- 3.Port-a-potty useUtilize the through-teeth-breathing-eyes-open tunnel method here too.
- 4.Sexy scenarios with people I do NOT want to think about that wayYou guys, these are called intrusive thoughts and in med school I learned not everyone has them!
- 5.My parents could die at any timeAnyone could, obviously, but it's my parents.
- 6.What if there is poop or semen on that door handleCould be. How do I know.
- 7.The intrusive thought of someone I was once intimate with touching someone else's face tenderlyHonestly, if I could get rid of any one of these, it'd be this one.
- 8.Laying in bed and knowing there are bugs possibly in my home just waiting to crawl into my mouth while I sleepBut this is a close second.
- 9.Eating something that could theoretically have shellfish in it, even though I've asked if it does and been told noHonestly, my allergy isn't that bad. Deep breathing, you crazy person. Count to 10.
- 10.My brain feels the need to remind me that I was drunk and maybe I don't remember everything that happenedAny night I was drunk, really.
- 11.People have gone out without me, what are they saying, is it about me, is it badProbably.
- 12.A commercial for The Purge comes onWHY DID THEY MAKE THIS MOVIE I HATE THEM SO MUCH
- 13.Any memory of inopportune fartingI never want to remember these situations.
- 14.The person driving me is driving crazy and is surely going to get in an accidentThis one logically got much worse after I was in an awful car accident and cried through yellow lights for a while. #stable
- 15.I am bothered by something on social media I suspect is directed toward me, intended to offend me, or is in any way seriousSally, this is not what life is about. Close your eyes, count to 10, and do. not. think. about. it.