A Selection of the Most Ridiculous Lines From College App Essays
The kids are alright.
- •I may have lost the spelling bee to him, but he is now a registered sex offender. So, fifth grade failure aside, who's the real winner here?
- •The first time I saw a naked man, I stared for three hours.Figure drawing class get your head out of the gutter!
- •I'll never cut my hair, not even for a chance at interscholastic glory. And with that fateful moment, I gave up that ultra-cool letterman for a nonathletic life of subpar jackets.He joined theater instead. Turns out the theater department has a letterman jacket that was eventually passed to him.
- •"French Vanilla" was not elected.Nickname he gave himself as he is white and from France.
- •My sister's first legal action as an adult was to release the Del Mar lifeguards from liability for my paralysis.He plays in a paraplegic lacrosse league now. But just as a volunteer because he wasn't actually paralyzed. This one was borderline rude the way it led me on!
- •He punctuates this with a twang of his bowstring and the altogether less lively whistle of a goose-feathered arrow.This is straight up dungeons and dragons fan fiction. The entire essay.
- •<div style = "response to change: vulnerable; input capacity: limited; boundaries: confined; framework: easily broken; personal value: undefined, questionable;"><#no>
- •Everyone remembers the kid picking flowers next to the soccer goal during games, but I like to give myself a little more credit than that guy- I was next to him, drawing dinosaurs in the sand.How can you not love this kid.