The Greatest Person I've Ever Met While on Vacation, Shetiqua Dashdoll
@sally and I went on vacation in New Orleans. The name of the trip was Occupy Bourbon Street (circa 2012 #relevant). We met the best person you could ever hope to meet while on vacation.
- •"I'm eating by myself can I sit with ya'll?"The answer to this should always be yes. We were sitting on the curb evaluating our lives around 1am. Little did we know what doors this would open.
- •Do ya'll know how to tell a hooker is a hooker? They alone and they walking fast as fuckWhenever I am alone I monitor my pace so as not to be mistaken for a hooker.
- •Do ya'll have Facebook names?She was not asking us our names. Prior to this night, I had no idea people had separate names for Facebook aside from just trying to hide your profile from employers. Now I watch Catfish so I know more about it.
- •WHOOP WHOOPWhat Shetiqua posts on Facebook immediately after accepting our friends requests. We are ECSTATIC.
- •She loves her grandmotherEvidenced by the repeated videos she posts of her grandma cursing at the tv while she is there hanging out with her.
- •She loves her sonsShe has two sons (one of which was recently born so we could track the pregnancy and birth via Facebook and omg amazing) and she's constantly talking about their milestones and silly things they do and for once it doesn't annoy the shit out of me.
- •KMSL; SMDH ; ++ @sally?Acronyms we learned from her
- •We still don't know her real nameSome work documents she posts have Shetiqua, others have another name and her friends address her as both. THE MYSTERY!!!!
- •She has 80 billion "cousins" and "godmothers" and "godchildren" and "my mans" and I HAVE NO IDEA WHO HER FAMILY IS.Suggested by @sally
- •When pregnant with her second child, she did an Arabian nights themed pregnancy photo shoot.Complete with purple sparkly crop top, sheer mini skirt, and head chain.Suggested by @sally
- •It should be made VERY clear that this is not an ironic love. We legitimately adore her presence in our lives.
- •She invited us to her "man's" birthday party the next day. I wholeheartedly believe she meant it. It was a crawfish boil. #obv