I used to be scared of kids but now I think I'm some kind of baby whisperer
  1. I have to have an answer on hand for when ten year olds ask me if I have a boyfriend
    I don't, but I do have 3/4 of a theatre degree and I want to write for a living, which makes me a modern woman, kind of.
  2. I have to have an answer on hand when an eight year old demands I enter the dating world.
    I went with, "Dating is none of my business." It wasn't a feminist victory and the eight year old thought she knew more than me
  3. Kids think I'm an adult
    It will always be weird when they ask me if they can go to the bathroom
  4. The kids didn't do anything yesterday after camp and neither did I
    A conversation I had every day: "Did you do anything fun yesterday after camp?" "Not really. What about you?" "Yeah, me either." They can't leave the house by themselves and I just want to eat Cheetos
  5. Musical.ly is so fucking weird
    From what I've seen of it, it's half ten year olds looking sassy and half hot shirtless guys? An eight year old told me to join because there are hot shirtless guys. I'm very concerned.
  6. Every girl wants to date a guy who owns a car
    A recent fifth grade graduate said this to me very seriously
  7. They know about the election and boy do they have opinions
    Three different girls told me they'd vote for Trump because they want to be the first woman president and Hillary is getting in the way. I also met a nine year old who loves Bernie Sanders and another nine year old who screamed that Hillary would burn in Hell during Arts & Crafts
  8. If I ask a group of five year olds to hold up two fingers so I know they're listening to me, they're gonna fucking do it
    What in gods name