FAMILY SUPERSTITIONS THAT MIGHT BE REAL THINGS

My mom's family is from the Philippines, and when they immigrated, they brought plenty of superstitions with them. These are my favorites (and the ones I think are actually true).
  1. "Put the toilet lid down. You're letting all the money out of the house."
    My mom told me this constantly when I was growing up. I'm just starting to think it's true. She's a great saver, and I'm not - at all. I'm pretty sure it's because her toilet lids are always down, and I'm always leaving mine up, just to spite her from afar. I guess the joke's on me, right, Mom?
  2. "If you don't want your daughter to have big boobs, tap her on the chest with a wooden spoon."
    I am almost 100% certain this works, only because it happened to me. My great Auntie Mary called me into her kitchen one day when I was 4 or 5. When I walked in, she looked down at me and lightly tapped each of my boobs three times with the wooden spoon she was about to use to stir something. She said, "There. Now you will not have big boobs. You will thank me later. No back pain for you." To this day, I am the president of the itty-bitty titty committee. Perky fo' lyfe, Auntie Mar!
  3. "Don't put money on the table. It's bad luck."
    Another piece of mom wisdom. Not sure of the connection, but I don't fuck around with this one. Gotta keep bad luck at bay, no matter what the cost.
  4. "Always eat 12 grapes right as the clock strikes midnight on New Year's. It brings luck and prosperity."
    I'm all for potential luck and prosperity, always.
  5. "Never put your purse on the ground. You're debasing your money."
    I have so many purses on my bedroom floor right now. I'm sure that's one reason why I'm always stressed about cash flow. Between that and the toilet lid situation, there's no hope.