SHIT MY PARENTS SAID OVER MY THANKSGIVING VACATION HOME

  1. Dad: "Have you ever seen the cat and cucumber videos on YouTube??!"
  2. Mom: "No don't worry about the crumbs. Hazel [her new robotic vacuum] will get them!"
  3. Mom: "Gary, we need to go on a diet." Dad: "No I just need to stand straight with my shoulders back."
  4. Mom: "Does Walgreens sell buttermilk?"