THINGS MY JEWISH MOTHER HAS SAID WHILE PLANNING MY WEDDING

Worthy of note: She was born catholic.
  1. "You think THAT's too bridal???"
    Re: a white Marchesa gown she purchased for herself
  2. "I've f*cked up the entire dessert table!"
    Re: forgetting to bring a display podium for macaroons at the shower
  3. "I just don't want you to cave in to Christianity"
    Re: including interfaith elements in MY, NOT HER OWN marriage ceremony
  4. "You need to try these on. They were expensive, I mean, they're from Bloomingdales!"
    Re: seksi lingerie bought for my honeymoon
  5. "Let's just hope they all don't come"
    Re: my dad's colleagues
  6. "There's one!"
    Re: one less guest, after her nephew got divorced
  7. "There's another!"
    Re: one less guest, after my great aunt passed away