I love when my brother comes to stay with me. LOVE IT! Here are the sweet things he does that make me insane, though.
- •He cooks.He cooks fish. He chooses to be very healthy when he is visiting, Paleo cookbooks- kind of healthy. He makes dinner and I spend two days fanning the air with my hands in the direction of every open window. I want to puke every time I walk through the front door.
- •He grocery shops.I live near the best whole foods ever. It's on Lincoln in Venice. Mark buys lots of healthy snack choices. Raw food kind of snacks. Cacao snacks etc. He then shames me out of eating the cadbury's chocolate I prefer- before adding "well you did just overcome two addictions" I'm paraphrasing- I don't remember exactly- I was too busy thinking yummy Crunchie bars- which he then eats in the middle of the night.
- •He showersI used to call him the shower terrorist because it was like a toddler had been let loose in my bathroom, every morning. Handles were all sticky, bath mats soaked through, and everything out of it's right place. He is getting much better.
- •He smells goodFor everyone else, this is fantastic- for me- I'm allergic to EVERYTHING! His cologne is a heat seeking missile to my nose.
- •He loves watching tv with me at night.I think he might be narcoleptic- the fact that he lives in London and is probably jet lagged is no excuse. He is pretty bossy so I let him choose what we watch, knowing full well that I will be the only watching. When he falls asleep (almost immediately) I tap him to tell him he's asleep and should go to bed, he disagrees. We do this nightly. I use these sessions to re watch things I didn't pay attention to the first time.
- •He falls asleep in my bedOne trip was during a boardwalk empire season- i was way behind, but watched with him anyway. He fell asleep and I started watching from the beginning. Barely able to hear over his and my dog's snoring I powered through, til he woke up and grumpily said "can you watch something else, this is really unpleasant to sleep through!" I didn't have the heart to say, can you go to your room and take your earthquake snores with you?
- •He likes to driveWhen I was drinking this was awesome. Free ride! Who cares that he drives like I'm the real life Miss Daisy? Not me.... However, I don't drink anymore, the only real bonus of this life change is being able to drive. I speed if I want to- coz fuck you POLICE- I'll take your ticket and raise you a hahahahaha you can't arrest me!
- •He borrows my studio equipmentNothing, literally, nothing makes me feel more validated than when my brother needs something that I have. This is some real little sister shit, but it's real. He needed my turntables and mixer to prepare for an Ellen performance this week. I provided everything. He returned these things missing a power chord, turntable needles, slip mats, and Serato vinyl. He didn't return my text yet.
- •He lives in his own worldHe arrived on Saturday and called from the car rental to make sure I was home because he forgot to mention he was coming. He forgot his US phone and his UK phone wasn't working.
- •He melts my heartAs he settled in on Saturday he said from his room (which is also storage for whatever I don't want to look at) "it's nice to be home."