1. Leslie Knope
    In this case it's probably waffles instead of coffee, but what on earth could be better?
  2. Shrek
    Because I've felt spiritually connected to him since '01.
  3. Richie Tenenbaum
    I think I'm in love with him. It's fine.
  4. Any character Shia LaBeouf has played
    I mean that. Any of them at all. Special nods to Louis Stevens, Bible from Fury, and Jerome from the Nymphomaniac movies if I'm feeling exciting.
  5. Aaron Burr
    I realize this was a real person, but I'm not interested in that one. I'm talking about the Hamilton version of him.
  6. Samantha from Her
    So she's an OS. I felt like we had a lot in common, apart from the whole me being a physical human thing.
  7. Gunther from Friends
    Think of the stories he'd have.
  8. Jean Valjean
    This one is totally selfish. I feel like I would walk away totally inspired and end up starting crossfit or volunteering or something.
  9. Larry David's Bernie Sanders
    Bonus: get coffee with this one AND the real one
  10. Elaine Benes
    My undisputed favorite female tv character.