MY MILD FEAR OF CARROTS, EXPLAINED

I knew this was coming the second I made the carrot comment.
  1. Okay okay
  2. So we all know what irrational fears are, yes?
  3. Well I've got a whole bunch of 'em
  4. Am I proud? No.
  5. (A little, actually, yes)
  6. But today I'm here to talk about one specific irrational fear
  7. These motherheckers right here
  8. An expositional anecdote: when I was a mere child, I loved these bastards more than life itself. One day I ate so many and my nose turned ORANGE.
  9. (This incident is unconfirmed as it happened allegedly at the age of 3 so I have no memory of it, but it's the lore of my parents and for purposes of this list we shall assume truth.)
  10. Nowadays as a young adult person, I cringe at the sight of these things
  11. They taste like metal
  12. And you can BREAK YOUR TEETH OFF WITH THEM
  13. Probably. I've never heard of it happening but it seems plausible.
  14. Okay, so maybe I'm just scared of ~allegedly~ turning orange again
  15. Maybe I'm just a picky eater
  16. I hate carrots