MY MILD FEAR OF CARROTS, EXPLAINED
I knew this was coming the second I made the carrot comment.
- •Okay okay
- •So we all know what irrational fears are, yes?
- •Well I've got a whole bunch of 'em
- •Am I proud? No.
- •(A little, actually, yes)
- •But today I'm here to talk about one specific irrational fear
- •These motherheckers right here
- •An expositional anecdote: when I was a mere child, I loved these bastards more than life itself. One day I ate so many and my nose turned ORANGE.
- •(This incident is unconfirmed as it happened allegedly at the age of 3 so I have no memory of it, but it's the lore of my parents and for purposes of this list we shall assume truth.)
- •Nowadays as a young adult person, I cringe at the sight of these things
- •They taste like metal
- •And you can BREAK YOUR TEETH OFF WITH THEM
- •Probably. I've never heard of it happening but it seems plausible.
- •Okay, so maybe I'm just scared of ~allegedly~ turning orange again
- •Maybe I'm just a picky eater
- •I hate carrots