🌴😢🌴 THOUGHTS ON ALOHA, THE ISHTAR OF MY GENERATION, AND ITS FULLY DISASTROUS RECEPTION

  1. Good movies are rarely as good as people say, bad movies are rarely as bad. Many are more deserving of the vitriol Aloha is getting.
  2. That being said, the movie is a total debacle. I wish we could see a pre-reshoot cut, as much as I love BCoop's weirdly long hair in his romantic reconciliation scene with Stone.
  3. People should rewatch Ishtar. It's kind of good. Not a masterpiece by any means but, like Aloha, an unfairly maligned curio.
  4. I felt like I watched the Cliff's Notes of a longer movie. I can't really tell you what happened in it but I suspect that my understanding and opinion of it will improve upon repeated viewings.
  5. As corny as Aloha may seem, Jerry Maguire is just as corny (and considered GREAT). It reminds me of everyone turning on Sorkin when he made The Newsroom, as if that same preachy one-sidedness and screwball energy wasn't what made them all love The West Wing in the first place.
  6. The Haole re-appropriation of Hawaiian lore is about as egregious as the fact that Emma Stone is supposed to be a quarter Hawaiian and a quarter Chinese, but you know what else is crazy? Tom Cruise and Kelly Preston feeding strawberries to each other in the nude while a dog watches. And that movie made 150 million dollars.
  7. Craziest line: "This isn't Coachella! We aren't waiting for the Molly to kick in so we can stare at a hologram of Tupac and wait to feel something!"
  8. Craziest moment: Bradley Cooper HOWLING
  9. This movie is bad, but I feel bad for it. And I feel bad for Cameron Crowe. Even the worst movies are still really hard to make.
  10. Why do people like to hate things so much?