My Video Game Crushes, Ranked

  1. 5.
    Cayde-6 (Destiny)
    Cayde is all personality, and he's one of the only NPCs in Destiny that seems to have a real relationship with the PC. Voiced by Nathan Fillion, he's witty, sexy, and confident. Yes, there is implied sexual and romantic tension between himself and Eris Morn, but when she's revealed to be an agent of the Hive in Destiny 2, he'll be up for grabs, and my guardian plans to make a move.
  2. 4.
    Princess Zelda (The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker)
    Zelda is awesome. She often takes an active role in her own rescue, often saves Link's life, assists in the defeat of Ganon(dorf), and does it all wearing heels. But she's absolutely coolest in The Wind Waker. She begins the game as Tetra, a fucking pirate captain living the goddamn life on the high sea, doing quite well for herself. Eventually she takes up the mantle of Princess to a sunken kingdom and plays a central role to ensure that realm's protection and rescue from the clutches of evil.
  3. 3.
    Possessed Princess Zelda (The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess)
    When Ganondorf possessed Zelda in Twilight Princess it disoriented me, but it also turned me on in a strange, primal way. With the exception of Tetra in TWW, I've never crushed on Zelda very hard, even as an avid (read rabid) fan of the series. The whole royalty thing never did it for me. But when she took up a sword against me in Twilight Princess, I have to admit, it was hot. Something about those yellow eyes; feel me, fam?
  4. 2.
    Malon (The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time)
    I ship Link and Malon HARD. They basically have a kid together in Epona, although Link has pretty much full custody. They have an "our song" that'll bring a tear to your eye. Malon herself is just what a hero needs: a fierce woman who keeps him humble and offers at least some respite from the trials before him. And let's face it, Link isn't gonna make a move this century; step aside, dude! head.
  5. 1.
    Chloe (Life is Strange)
    I can scarsely describe the affection I have for Chloe. I simply and sincerely fell in love with her. Her blue hair, her chain smoking, her punk rock tank tops, her sour-sweet attitude, her creative heart. Spoilers* I cried when she became paralized at my character's hand. I cried when she went through abuse at the hands of Mr. Jefferson, and it wasn't truly a choice when I was given the choice to save her or Arcadia Bay at the end of the game. If you chose Bay Ending, we have nothing in common.