I wish I was better at...

  1. Not procrastinating.
    I am the biggest procrastinator and I just can't seem to quit. I tell myself I'm gonna stop it or I'm gonna work ahead on a project but it never happens. I self-sabotage and I hate it but I can't seem to force myself to change.
  2. Making friends.
    I have a lot of anxiety and am incredibly insecure, those two things combined make it very hard to make friends. Mostly, my anxiety becomes crippling whenever I even think about doing a new activity, joining a group, etc. and therefore I end up hiding at home, telling myself I like being alone all the time. Also, I tend to get v insecure &I get suspicious when someone reaches out &I makes an effort to hang out. Like "why do they wanna hang out with me?" 😬😩
  3. Talking about my problems.
    I tend to compartmentalize and bottle up everything. I come from a family that never really talks about their issues and we've always tended to just glaze over things instead of talking about actual issues. I want to be better about talking about things that hurt me or have some sort of affect on me. Unlike my family, I want to develop and have good open communication in my life.
  4. Feeling emotions.
    For so long I have felt very numb to different emotions. I don't know exactly when this happened but I know it's in relation to my depression and anxiety struggles. Also, i have had a very up and down relationship with my parents and pretty much any guy I've dated has treated me terribly, so it always just seemed easier to feel nothing than to feel hurt over and over again. I want to feel excitement, happiness, joy, and even sadness. Just not nothing anymore.
  5. Taking care of myself
    I feel like 2016 has been a big year for promoting self care, but I have sucked at it. I go days without eating and then I'll binge for a whole day. I either sleep all the time or not at all. I clean my bedroom but by the end of the week it's a MESS because I can't find the energy/desire to keep it clean. I isolate myself &I don't see ppl for days. I don't speak kindly to myself. I want to change. I want to be consistent and healthy in my habits.
  6. Reading more.
    I love to read. I love books. I have stacks of books just waiting to be read. That being said, lately when I get home from work, I'm so tired all I wanna do is shut my brain off and veg out. I want to be more intentional about actually reading a book.
  7. Keeping in contact.
    I love my friends, but I'm not the greatest at staying in contact with them. All of my best friends live in different states, so most of our friendship is texting/face timing but even that I'm not consistent with. We're all busy, we all have jobs yadda yadda yadda. I'm gonna be a more intentional friend.
  8. Not being on my phone
    I don't like the fact that I'm so attached to my phone and social media. I mean, I'm not addicted, I go most of the day without looking at it while I'm at work. Buuuuut at night I'm on it, constantly refreshing and for what? No good reason. I want to look at my phone less and be better about always having it in my hand.
  9. Small talk.
    I know, I know. Everyone hates small talk. Me too. I just want to be Better at having casual conversations with casual acquaintances. I always feel VERY awkward while doing so and I want to be less so.
  10. Standing up for what I believe it/being able to back it up.
    I have a lot of different opinions about life and the word than my family and people around me. A lot of times my opinions get talked over or shot down for being the wrong/stupid opinion 🙃 I want to be able to explain what I believe and why I believe it or support something without just getting frustrated/angry/upset