NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

Hello 2016 it's me
  1. Don't tell boys you are a sociopath on the first date
  2. Lower the amount of filters used on Instagram to roughly 7 spread across 3 apps
  3. Set an alarm to wake up at 6:30 am every morning and exercise
  4. Only snooze 6 times and if you don't wake up to work out (which you never will), eat like a bird until you feel like you might faint and then have string cheese
  5. Have an open mind about cat people
  6. Stop pretending to like soulcycle. You hate soulcycle*
    *except the Hamilton ride you like that
  7. Cook stuff aside from avocado toast
  8. Try not to get kicked out of any karaoke bars
    This has happened three times in my life so far
  9. Find my signature lip color
  10. Stop obsessing over the real housewives of any city. Similarly the vanderpump rules staff members
  11. Minimize my seamless delivery to 4x/ week*
    *LOOPHOLE: CAN SET FOR PICKUP INSTEAD
  12. Stop buying the New Yorker so people think you read the New Yorker
  13. Don't sample everything when you go into Sephora
    Glitter is like herpes and I keep learning the hard way
  14. Use the smoothie maker I begged my parents for hannukah '13 but haven't opened yet
  15. Stop drinking on busses (this has become a thing)
  16. Work on my resting smile face