Things I talk about on first dates that I probably shouldn't

  1. My hit single entitled "fuck my corpse"
  2. How I scored very highly on the sociopath Google quiz
  3. My time on the quidditch team in college
  4. How I attended a real life murderer's prison release party
  5. The fact that I lie a lot for fun
  6. How I might be a witch
  7. Hilarious dating app stories from the well-respected apps seeking arrangement and thrinder
  8. How the only thing that made me cry in the last year was the season premiere of the real housewives of New Jersey