Things I've wanted to tell my upstairs neighbors

They're so loud for so many weird reasons. WILL ADD TO THIS AS NECESSARY.
  1. "Hey guys! So sorry to bother you, but are you just taking one whole wall and dragging it across the floor? That's what I'm assuming. Cool, could you not do that in the middle of the night?"
  2. "You'll never get on Broadway if you're always home singing show tunes."
  3. "None of your friends understand counting because they always get confused at our door and think it's yours. Get smarter friends."
  4. "I heard you complain to your mom over the phone about your taxes, and it definitely sounds like it was your fault."
  5. "I appreciate how you take the stairs at a gallop. You show an enthusiasm for life that I must lack."