Things To Do at the Mall
Besides spend money, because who wants to do that?
- •Run the wrong way up and down the escalatorAdd bouncy balls for extra fun!
- •Memorize a two-minute speech about an obscure topic of your choice and sit in the elevator, regaling shoppers with your extensive knowledgePossible topics include 'the life cycle of the yellow-bellied toad' and 'why Beyoncé is the Chosen One of today's society'
- •Find an empty shopping bag, put it on your head, sit on a bench, and pretend to scroll through your phoneBonus points if those around you hear muffled laughter from inside the bag every few minutes
- •Skip happily though the mall for no reasonWave at those who give you weird looks
- •Put on an impromptu concert for the food court customers'We Didn't Start the Fire' always goes over well, as long as you don't miss any verses
- •Get a baby stroller and as many free samples as you can get. Put the samples in the stroller and walk around telling people that you "can't wait for them to grow into full-size products"
- •Put blue Gatorade in a Windex bottle. Walk around the mall drinking it, grinning at those around you
- •Put on headphones with music, find a small open area, and dance like there's no tomorrow
- •Or, unplug your headphones, turn up the volume on your phone, and get a dance party goingplease send me photos if u do this
- •Have a scavenger hunt with the weirdest things you can think of. With no context, ask strangers if they know where you can find 'a sock with moons on it' or 'a freshly-caught tadpole'