PROS AND CONS OF BRINGING A SMALL AMOUNT OF DRUGS ON A FLIGHT TO A FAMILY EVENT

  1. CON: It is illegal.
  2. CON: Unsure of legal consequences for possessing this amount of drugs.
  3. CON: Unsure of consequences for flying with this amount of drugs.
  4. CON: Unsure if airport dogs can smell through bag, clothes, Axe hair gel.
  5. CON: If caught, could miss family event.
  6. CON: Not really a con, but it's not like these drugs are gonna go bad in the next three days.
  7. CON: There's definitely not enough drugs for everyone. A younger cousin or hip aunt/uncle will be left out.
  8. CON: I'll probably decide to let younger cousin or hip aunt/uncle have a little bit., and the mild stress that they will tell the wrong person that they did drugs counteracts my mild high.
  9. CON: That after doing the smallest amount of drugs, younger cousin or hip aunt/uncle has no chill, and keeps tapping me on the shoulder and giving me heavy winks.
  10. CON: Younger cousin or hip aunt/uncle think I'm lying when I say there's none left, then insist they are not talking about it too loud.
  11. CON: If caught, mom will be mortified and probably cry.
  12. CON: If caught, dad will be disappointed, but also mad, probably punch me.
  13. CON: If caught, will be hot topic of the weekend, completely overshadowing why we've all gathered.
  14. CON: If caught, will be highly scrutinized at all future family gatherings.
  15. CON: If caught, "Just make sure Sam doesn't pack your bag!" will become punchline to many, many bad jokes from literally everyone.
  16. CON: If caught, generic answers to annoying aunt's questions will no longer shake her.
  17. CON: If caught, prude cousin will not let me hold her future baby.
  18. CON: If caught, fratty cousin won't stop telling me EPIC drug stories from college.
  19. CON: Above stories probably will be objectively more epic than any of my college stories.
  20. CON: ALL THESE COPS ARE LOOKING AT ME.
  21. PRO: Could be fun.
  22. CONCLUSION: Gonna do it.