DISPATCHES FROM MY HOSPITAL ROOM

I am having an autoimmune disease flare and spending my Friday night chillin in the ER reading @mindy kaling's new book. I am also on a lot of drugs
  1. I hope my dad isn't bored
    My poor father is visiting me in LA this weekend, and instead of eating overpriced wagyu beef in Hollywood (what is wagyu beef?) he is sitting in a waiting room eating mcdonalds and reading a book about how to retire overseas
  2. Why Not Me? Is a very funny book
    Morphine not withstanding
  3. Why does everyone in LA keep telling me how nice I am?
    By Chicago standards I am an asshole, or "cynical" at best. In the month I have lived in Los Angeles more random strangers have complimented me on my friendliness than ever before in my life. Latest instance was the nurse who just called me cheerful. OF COURSE I AM CHEERFUL, I AM ON A LOT OF PAIN DRUGS.
  4. I am hungry
    I am the worst Crohn's disease patient ever. I was admitted to the ER with severe stomach pains and I STILL kind of want some buffalo wings. Can you get buffalo wings delivered to a hospital Y/n?
  5. I hate being in the hospital in 2015
    Because so many funny, tweetable things have happened in this ER but I don't want to tweet them or I'll be THAT girl who used Twitter to subtly tell everyone she's in the hospital and thereby gain pity. Ya know?
  6. I'd really like to have a nap
    But I'd feel bad for the nurse who has to awkwardly wake me