MY MENTAL PROCESS EVERY TIME SOMEONE ASKS ME WHAT KIND OF MUSIC I LISTEN TO
The honest answer is "I listen to nothing cool, ever. Ever."
- •WHY DID YOU HAVE TO ASK THAT
- •We were getting along so well and we were probably about to become acquaintance friends who go to happy hours together
- •But now you want to know what kind of music I like
- •Should I tell you about the multiple Backstreet Boys concerts I've been to as an adult?
- •Or that the last album I listened to in its entirety was the new One Direction?
- •Nah, I should just say Adele. Everybody likes Adele. That's safe.
- •DEFINITELY DONT MENTION THE TAYLOR SWIFT THEMED BIRTHDAY PARTY YOU HAD LAST YEAR TO THIS STRANGER. THEY NEED TIME TO GET TO KNOW YOU FIRST.
- •Literally just think of ONE cool and obscure band or artist they won't know enough about to quiz you on.
- •Say Lily Allen! She's British and kind of edgy pop and you actually like her and her fun nail art! And this person doesn't look like they listen to Lily Allen so you can say it and stop this conversation dead in its tracks.
- •Just say you like "a little of everything!" That's something people say, right? The universal cop out?
- •Oh god, you said everything and now she wants an example from your Spotify playlists.
- •Your most listened to Spotify playlist is called "Musicals!"
- •This potential new friend is wearing Free People, you cannot tell her your most listened to playlist features songs from the REMAKE of "Annie."
- •Oh good, the bartender came to take our order. New friend is distracted. I will live to see another day. Change the subject. Ask her about the beer she's drinking. Delete your Spotify history. Change your name.