REASONS I'D MAKE A QUESTIONABLE PARENT

Inspired by @tannbanan
  1. I don't know how to braid
    Tiny girl children deserve a mom who can braid
  2. I hate cooking in all of its forms
    But maybe they'll just be classy little kids who love eating at restaurants
  3. Things that can't talk make me nervous
  4. I say "fuck" approx 18 times a day and I don't know how to stop
  5. I don't really care if you make your bed
    I think I'm supposed to
  6. I'm bad at feigning interest in things like Mickey Mouse Clubhouse
  7. I want to stay at Disney World til they close at 11 and I don't care if you're tired